Know that Allah(SWT) has maintained your family relationship even if you or others may abandon it.
Sa’id ibn Zayd reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, this womb is derived from the name of the Most Merciful. Whoever severs its relations, Allah will forbid him from entering Paradise.”(Musnad Aḥmad 1651)
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The womb will be presented on the Day of Resurrection. It will have a staff like a spindle and it will speak with a clear and articulate tongue. It will maintain whoever maintained its relations, and it will cut off whoever cut off its relations.” (Musnad Aḥmad 6950)
Recognise that part of being a family is having issues. The reality of family issues All the Prophets stories remind us that families do have issues – Adam(AS)’s son killed his brother, Noahs son disobeyed Allah(SWT) thinking he knew better, Lut’s wife disobeyed Allah(SWT) and sold out the believers, Ibrahim’s father conspired with his community to kill him and exiled him from the land, Yaqubs sons aimed to kill their brother and on failing sold him into slavery. Even the Prophet’s (SAW) own uncles were amongst the staunchest enemies of Islam.
No-one has got it perfect or better than anyone else
It is reported that a man came to ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab to complain about his wife. When he reached his house he heard ‘Umar’s wife Umm Kulthum scolding him. The man said to himself, ‘I came with the intention of complaining to him about my wife but he is himself going through what I go through.’ He, therefore, returned but ‘Umar called him back, and asked him about the purpose of his visit. He said, ‘I came to complain to you about my wife’s behavior but when I heard your wife’s words I returned.’ ‘Umar replied, “I bear with her because of her rights over me. Firstly, she is my protection from Hell as she keeps my heart protected from the forbidden: Secondly, she is keeper of my house (especially) when I am away, and she is also protector of my belongings. Thirdly, she acts as bleacher for me and washes my clothes. Fourthly, she nurses my children. Fifthly, she cooks my food, and bakes my bread.” Thereupon, the man said: “It was same with me, however, I did not show forbearance to her. Now I will let it all go.” [al-Dhahabi (d. 748/1347) in al-Kaba’ir]
The special position of parents
And your Lord has decreed that you worship not except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,”1 and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (Surah al-Isra 17:23)
It was also narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (RA) that the Prophet (SAW) said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of one’s father and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of one’s father.” (al-Tirmidhi (1821))
Muslim scholars and jurists unanimously hold that the obedience to parents is wajib (necessary) only in what is permissible – and definitely not in what is impermissible or sinful.
What about if they wronged me? Al-Baihaqi (in Shu’ab al-‘Iman) and Ibn ` Asakir have reported on the authority of Sayyidna Ibn ` Abbas (RA) that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said, “For theone who remained obedient to his parents for the sake of Allah two gates of Paradise shall remain open. And for one who disobeyed them two gates of Hell shall remain open, and if he had just one of the two, either father or mother, then, one gate (of Paradise or Hell shall remain open).”
Thereupon, someone asked, “Does it (the warning of Hell) hold good even when the parents have been unjust to this person?” Then he said thrice: وَ اِن ظَلَمَا وَ اِن ظَلَمَا وَ اِن ظَلَمَا which means, ‘yes, there is that warning of Hell against disobeying and hurting parents even if they were unjust to the son.’ (The outcome is that children have no right to settle scores with parents. If they have been unjust, it does not follow that they too back out from obeying and serving them).
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.” [Musnad Aḥmad 6541]
ارْحَمُوا تُرْحَمُوا وَاغْفِرُوا يَغْفِرْ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ
You will not be able to pay your parents back Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a man circumambulating the Ka’bah while carrying his mother on his back. The man said to Abdullah, “I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad]
2) Children Every parent has responsibilities over their children which include choosing a righteous wife to be their mother. Doing tahnik (placing something sweet in the childs mouths like chewed dates), giving the child a good name, shaving their head on the seventh day and giving its weight in silver to charity, sacrificing sheep (aqiqah), circumcision, good education, training them in good manners and spending on them.
Often time, as parents, we are more concerned about our reputation. Don’t make your children, siblings, parents or other families your tool for reputation. If they fall, we get embarrassed because it makes us feel less competent. Rather, take pride in your mother bartering, your father scolding (teaching) and your brother trying to stand on his own feet.
And take care of yourselves. What use are you to your family, if you are not well or available to take care of them?
2) Spouse Once you have selected a good partner, its important you start on the right footing. Teacher advised when a student was getting married that if you build your house on your way, it will lead to Hellfire. Do it based on Allahs way as showed by his Prophet.
A wife has financial rights including the dowry (mahr) on marriage, spending on their food and acommodation even if they are rich. Fair and kind treatment – “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).
‘Aishah, the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her), narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Quran when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty ayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did ruku’, then sujud; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1068)
Similarly a husband has rights as the head of the household to be respected and obeyed.
Like any two people, they will have agreements and disagreements. The Prophet(SAW) used to love his first wife, Khadijah(Ra) like no other and many years after she had passed away, he would still remember her and ‘Urwah reported: Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said, “I never felt so jealous about any woman as I did for Khadijah. She had died three years before I married the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. I heard him mentioning her so often, and his Lord ordered him to give her glad tidings of her palace in Paradise made of reeds. The Prophet would slaughter a sheep and distribute its meat among her friends. [Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5658, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2435]
In a moment of emotion, Aisha (Ra) said to the Messenger of Allah (SAW), “You act as if there is no other woman than Khadija in the world… Why do you always mention an old woman who lost her teeth through age and died a long time ago? Allah gave you a better one than her. ” (Bukhari, Manaqibul-Ansar, 20)
Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (SAW), without getting angry said, “No, Aisha. Allah did not give me a better one than her. She believed me when nobody believed me. Everybody called me a liar but she accepted that I was telling the truth. When nobody gave me anything, she supported me with her wealth. God Almighty gave me children from her.” (Ibn Hanbal, VI, 118)
Thereupon, Aisha (Ra) said, “I will never say any bad things about Khadija again.” (Bukhari, 108; Muslim, 78)
Remember, you are not doing it for their pleasure, rather submit and seek Allahs’ Pleasure
How to guide your family Humans can be unreliable, emotional and arrogant. Ultimately, their rectification and righteousness is not in our hands, regardless of how good the environment may be. The dua when you reach the age of 40 recognises that it is Allah(SWT) who rectifies our children.
What are you leaving for your family A man came across a restaurant which had a big sign outside saying “Eat as much as you want, your grandchildren will pay the bill”. On seeing this he rushed in, found a large table and ordered everything on the menu. He ate to his fill and then some more, and as he sat back struggling to breathe for air, he smiled in the knowledge that he had taken advantage of the offer. As he relaxed, a waiter came over and handed him a bill to which he shouted, you can’t do this, I read what it says on the sign. The waiter said “Sir, This is not your bill, it’s your grandfather’s Bill” And the man fainted.
The moral of the story is that our actions have consequences for our children and the coming generations. Our behaviour, attitudes and deeds are our legacy!
Maintaining healthy family relationships while incarcerated can be challenging, but it’s crucial for the well-being of both the inmates and their loved ones.
Open Communication: Encourage regular and honest communication with family members. Writing letters, making phone calls, and using approved communication channels can help keep the connection strong.
Listen if you expect to be heard. Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
Teach emotional choice. Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviors. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
Express Love and Support: Remind inmates to express their love, gratitude, and support for their family members. Regularly reassure them that they are missed and cared for.
Be generous in expressing love. Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.
Set Realistic Expectations: Help inmates understand that their family members might face difficulties as well. Encourage them to have realistic expectations about the challenges their loved ones might be dealing with.
Emphasise Positivity: Encourage inmates to share positive stories and experiences, and to focus on the future rather than dwelling on the negative aspects of their situation.
Apologize and Make Amends: If there have been strained relationships prior to incarceration, advise inmates to take responsibility for their actions and work towards making amends with their family members.
Parenting from Afar: If inmates are parents, remind them of the importance of staying involved in their children’s lives through letters, phone calls, and any approved visits. Offer guidance on providing emotional support and guidance from a distance.
Family Counseling: Suggest the possibility of family counseling or therapy sessions to address any underlying issues and improve communication among family members.
Empathy and Understanding: Encourage inmates to consider the challenges their family members are facing due to their absence, such as financial difficulties, emotional strain, or social stigma.
Plan for the Future: Help inmates set goals and create a plan for reintegration into family life upon release. Discuss the importance of seeking education, job training, and support services to ease the transition.
Respect Boundaries: Advise inmates to respect their family members’ boundaries and decisions while also expressing their own needs and desires in a respectful manner.
- Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving. Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
- Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones. Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
- Make a lasting impression through actions. Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
- Acknowledge your errors to everyone, including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologizing proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
- Discover what each person’s unique needs are. You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there’s no money in there.
Your families are a test for you
“O believers! Indeed, some of your spouses and children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon, overlook, and forgive ˹their faults˺, then Allah is truly All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Surah at-Taghabun 64:14]
Tirmidhi, Hakim and others have recorded, with authentic chain of transmitters, on the authority of Sayyidna Ibn ‘Abbas ؓ that this verse was revealed regarding those Muslims who embraced Islam in Makkah after the migration of the Holy Prophet ﷺ to Madinah. They intended to migrate to Madinah and join the Holy Prophet ﷺ but their wives and children refused to allow them. [ Ruh al Ma’ani] This was the time when it was compulsory for every Muslim to migrate from Makkah. Therefore, the wives and children who stood in way of loyalty and obedience to Divine laws are referred to as their enemies, and it was emphasized that they should beware of them, because none can be greater enemy than one who involves a person in the eternal punishment and everlasting Fire of Hell. ‘Ata’ Ibn Rabah reports that this verse was revealed in connection with ‘Auf Ibn Malik Ashja’ He was in Madinah. Whenever the occasion arose to go to war or jihad and he would intend to participate in the jihad, his wife and children would complain: “ In whose care are you leaving us?” He would be influenced by their complaint and change his mind. [ Ruh al Ma’ani and Ibn Kathir]
The word عَفْوٌ conveys the idea of pardoning or overlooking someone’s faults or offenses. It implies that the person granting forgiveness is choosing to let go of the issue without seeking retribution, although blame and censure may still be offered.
The word تَصْفَحُوا۟ (tasfahoo) is a verb from the noun صَفْحٌ: Derived from the root ص ف ح, this word suggests the act of turning a page, both literally and figuratively. In the context of forgiveness, صَفْحٌ implies moving on from a wrongdoing or mistake by turning over a new leaf, without reproach or blame and without seeking retribution. It signifies a fresh start and the decision to leave past issues behind and focus on a renewed relationship or situation. It is a middle state between عَفْوٌ and غُفْرانٌ. 3.
غُفْرانٌ refers to the act of covering, concealing, or protecting someone from the consequences of their mistakes or transgressions. In the context of forgiveness, it implies that the person forgiving is not only letting go of the offense but also actively seeking to protect the wrongdoer from the negative consequences of their actions, by considering that they never occurred. There is no blame or censure felt even internally, and this is the highest form of forgiveness.
While all three words تَعْفُوا۟ (ta’fu), تَصْفَحُوا۟ (tasfahu), and تَغْفِرُوا۟ (taghfiru) are related to the concept of forgiveness, they each highlight different aspects and degrees of the forgiving process, the highest level of which is غُفْرانٌ, as exemplified in the closing of the verse where Allah says that if you are able to do غُفْرانٌ then He will also be Forgiving – غَفورٌ – He will also forgive our wrongdoings and consider that they never occurred.
Your wealth and children are only a test, but Allah ˹alone˺ has a great reward. (Surah at-Taghabun 64:14-15)
Buraydah b. al-Husayyib narrates: The Messenger of Allah (saws) was delivering a sermon to us when al-Hasan and al-Husayn came stumbling dressed in red shirts. He descended and took them, then ascended the pulpit with them. Then he said: “Allah has spoken the truth: Your wealth and your children are but a trial [64:15] “I saw these two and did not hold back.” Then he continued with the sermon. [Abu Dawud (1109)]
Islam honoured women, whether as mothers, daughters or sisters. It honoured women as mothers. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)
Islam honours women as daughters. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allah with regard to them, will enter Paradise.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)
And Islam honours women as wives. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).
Islam gave women their rights of inheritance and other rights.
Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibility for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829)
Islam paid a great deal of attention to implanting the principle of respect for fathers and mothers, taking care of them and obeying their commands until death. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, ascended the pulpit and he said, “Amin, amin, amin.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, you ascended the pulpit and said amin, amin, amin.” The Prophet said, “Verily, Gabriel came to me and he said: Whoever reaches the month of Ramadan and he is not forgiven, then he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away, so say amin. I said amin. Whoever sees his parents in their old age, one or both of them, and he does not honor them and he dies, then he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away, so say amin. I said amin. Whoever has your name mentioned in his presence and he does not send blessings upon you and he dies, then he will enter Hellfire and Allah will cast him far away, so say amin. I said amin.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 907)
Duties to household more important than voluntary worship Wahb ibn Jabir reported: The client of Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, said to him, “I intend to reside this month by the Sacred House in Jerusalem.” Abdullah said to him, “Have you left your family with enough to sustain themselves?” He said no. Abdullah said, “Return to your family and leave them with enough to sustain themselves, for I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say: It is enough sin for a man to neglect those under his care.” (Musnad Aḥmad 6842)
Abu Bakrah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the quickest act of obedience to be rewarded is to maintain family ties, even if the people of the household are wicked, such that it will grow their wealth and increase their numbers if they maintain family ties. No people of a household maintain family ties and remain in need.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 440)
Hakim ibn Hizam reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, “What act of charity is best?” The Prophet said, “One given to an estranged relative.” (Musnad Aḥmad 15320)
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said in his illness (on his deathbed) before he passed away, “Arhaamakum (Your family relations!) Your family relations!” (Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 463)
‘Amr ibn al-‘As reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the relatives of my father are not my allies. Verily, only Allah and the righteous believers are my allies. Yet, they have the bonds of kinship and I will uphold their family ties.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5990, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 215)
‘Amr ibn al-‘As reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, the relatives of my father are not my allies. Verily, only Allah and the righteous believers are my allies. Yet, they have the bonds of kinship and I will uphold their family ties.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5990, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 215
إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْمَلِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَانًا أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا وَأَلْطَفُهُمْ بِأَهْلِهِ
Charity from unlawful wealth not accepted: Al-Qasim ibn Mukhaymirah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever acquires wealth by sinning to serve his family, or give in charity, or spend in the way of Allah, then Allah will gather all of it together and cast it into Hell.” (al-Zuhd wal-Raqā’iq 625)
Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Three will not enter Paradise: the stubborn drunkard, the one who severs family ties, and the believer in magic.” (Musnad Aḥmad 19569)
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Allah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahim) stood up and said, ‘This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.’ Allah said, ‘Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?’ It said, ‘Of course.’ Allah said, ‘Then your prayer is granted.’”
Then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Recite, if you wish: ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight. Do they not then think deeply in the Quran, or are their hearts locked up (from understanding it)?’ [Muhammad 47:22-24].”
Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5987; Muslim, 2554
The Prophet ﷺ informed us that the best of people are those who are the best to their families. And he ﷺ was the best to his family. He ﷺ used to repair his shoes, mend his clothes and strive in fulfilling his family’s needs.
selecting a righteous wife. And a woman agreeing to marry a qualified man. And facilitating the dowry and expenses on the groom. Such that there is blessing in the marriage.
And likewise what was related from the two spouses making remembrances and supplications and seeking blessings. And what was related of the great reward for excellence in companionship and spending. And a man is rewarded for being playful with his family. And what Allah has established of rights due to the wife from the husband. And rights and obedience due to the Husband from the wife. To the extent that obedience to the husband is prioritized over obedience to the parents even in consideration of the kindness and goodness due to them and the great sin incurred by disrespecting them.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man said: O Messenger of Allaah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me. He said: “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths. Allaah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.”
Narrated by Muslim (2558).
1.Tell them all that it is obligatory to uphold ties of kinship and it is haraam to sever them.
2.Tell them what upholding ties of kinship really means, and that it is not responding in kind, rather it means upholding ties with the one who cuts you off and offering kindness in return for bad treatment.
upholding ties with the one who cuts you off and offering kindness in return for bad treatment.
It is for the purpose of building a balanced and righteous family. And so that the children live in a secure and stable environment. To build a strong vibrant ummah (nation). Otherwise, many of the families that have a lot of spousal discord end up separating resulting in devastated and troubled children. They do not feel secure nor do they find solace and tranquility.
3.Forgive them if they do anything wrong or upset you.
4.Make your visits brief and avoid joking. Perhaps visiting too often with transgressions of sharee’ah or overdoing permissible things is one of the reasons that led to them severing ties.
6.Not listening to trouble-makers who try to cause problems between a man and his family, or who hate to see a family united, for they are malicious gossips who commit major sins.
7.Seek the help of Allaah by calling upon Him (du’aa’) in your prayer and at the end of the night, asking Him to guide your relatives to the best of attitudes and deeds.
And among the most amazing wonders in the Quran is that fear is repeated in the verses of marriage and divorce more than it is repeated for any other matter.
I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.
اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ
O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed. For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا
O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good
عِبَادَ اللّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة
Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein. And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.
A signboard outside a restaurant read “Eat as much as you can, your grandchildren will pay the Bill”. A man entered the restaurant and ate as he could, got a toothpick and was relaxing. The waiter gave him the bill. He laughed and pointed to the signboard, don’t you see, “only my grandchildren will pay!” The waiter politely replied, “Sir, This is not your bill, it’s your grandfather’s Bill”……..The man fainted….
You are setting the futures of your grandchildren through your intention, conduct and character.