Take care of yourself
Ibn Al-Qayyim said
Whoever shames his brother for a sin, he will be tested with the same sin “ . Therefore, if you hear / see a sin from another person, say “ may Allah ( swt ) forgive us and them.
Don’t sit & watch people, and look for their faults and don’t expose them or spy on them. Instead, work on yourself & fix your faults first. Remember, you will only be asked about yourself, not others. Don’t look down upon so and so because his son is not praying or is drinking, & don’t shame so and so because her daughter is not wearing hijab in public. You do not know the suffering of their parents in raising them, & the effort and dedication they put in to guard them.
Don’t you know, the son of Prophet Nuh (AS) is in hellfire? And the father of Prophet Ibrahim (AS) is also in hellfire? So stop assuming destinies and translating intentions. Instead, focus on yourself & those whom you’re responsible for. Today, you might be righteous & tomorrow you might end up with a bad ending. Remember, the hearts of humans are between the fingers of Allah (SWT). They turn as often as rapidly as boiling water. Always make sure to ask yourself who guided you & what situation you’re in.
So if you see something you don’t like in someone, say:
الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي عَافَانِي مِمَّا ابْتَلَاكَ بِهِ، وَفَضَّلَنِي عَلَى كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقَ تَفْضِيلًا
Praise be to Allah (SWT), who had saved me from what he had afflicted them with, & for honouring me as of a many of his creations.
OR you can say
يا مُقلِّبَ القُلُوْبِ
ثَبِّت قَلْبِي عَلَى دِيْنِكَ
O Turner of hearts,
Keep my heart upon your religion.
Abu Hanifa ( may Allah be pleased with him ) had an alcoholic neighbor who he tried to advise on many occasions, until finally he got tired and left him. One day, the wife of the alcoholic man knocked on the door of Abu Hanifa, telling him that her husband had passed away, and that she wants him to pray for his Janazah, but Abu Hanifa refused. Later that day, Abu Hanifa saw that man in his dream walking in the gardens of heaven saying, “ Tell Abu Hanifa that alhamdulillah Jannah wasn’t on his hands “. When Abu Hanifa woke up, he rushed to the wife of the deceased and asked, “ how was he before his death? “ She said “ He was the same as you knew him, except that every Friday, he used to feed the orphans and say “ pray for your uncle” “ It could be the dua of one of the orphans. Hearing this, Abu Hanifa had a deep regret.
So my dear brother or sister, do not shame the people of sins and look down on them. We all are under the cover of Allah (SWT) and if he was to remove that cover, we would all be exposed. Don’t be proud of your plentiful prayers and fasts because you don’t know who is closer to Allah(SWT).
Advise but don’t expose.
Confront but don’t hurt.
Don’t be arrogant and don’t mock others.
Take care of yourself at every turn.